Reflecting on 30-Plus Years of Long-Term Care Visits
As the year draws to a close, I find myself thinking about the many, many stories and encounters I’ve had over the past 30-plus years visiting people living in long-term care communities. One story that stays in the forefront of my memory is my conversation with Clarence. Clarence was living in a nursing home when I met him. He was 92 years old at the time.
Clarence’s Words: A Lesson in Humanity
We talked about his work as a carpenter, and we talked about his family and friends, many of whom he had now outlived. At some point in our conversation, he turned to me, looking me in the eyes and said something that I will never forget:
“To be human is to be loved and to have someone to love. As far as I can tell, I am still human.”
When I heard his words, it was like a light went off for me. Of course! We never lose our humanity, and we certainly never lose our desire to be in relationships.
Insights from the University of Nebraska Study
In 1984, Dr. Chuck Power and Dr. James Thorson interviewed 800 older adults as part of a study for the University of Nebraska’s Department of Gerontology. They asked participants about all of their needs: housing, safety, food insecurity, and so on. Out of all of the responses, the top three needs expressed were:
- I need a ride to and from the doctor.
- I need to feel like someone cares about me.
- I want to have someone that I can care about.
These three responses were in the top 90 percentile.
Why NALTCV Exists
Clarence wasn’t asking for much—just a reminder that he mattered to someone. That his life still had meaning. This moment is the heart of why the National Association of Long-Term Care Volunteers (NALTCV) exists. At our core, we believe in the power of human connection to restore dignity, hope, and joy to people like Clarence, who often spend their days without a single visit.
Companion Volunteers: The “Luxury of Time”
Now, I want to be clear: this isn’t because the care staff aren’t doing their job. Quite the opposite. I’ve seen the dedication and compassion they pour into their work every day. They literally run from one end of their shift to the other. With so many people to care for and so few hands to help, they just don’t have the time to stop for an hour or so and talk. They want to connect with every person in their community, but the demands of their role often make it difficult.
That’s where companion volunteers come in. Companion volunteers have the “luxury of time” to sit, listen, and simply be present in ways that care staff wish they could. They complement the work of staff, not replace it, and their presence can make all the difference in someone’s life.
The Power of Your Support
This year, thanks to your support, we’ve made progress: training companion volunteers who bring love and connection to nursing home communities across the country. But there are still so many people waiting—waiting for someone who will sit with them, listen to their stories, and remind them that they are loved and seen.
The Consequences of Loneliness
And there are serious ramifications for people who wait too long. Loneliness isn’t just an emotional pain; it deteriorates a person’s physical and mental health. It leads to overuse of psychotropics, increased fall rates, cognitive decline, and premature death. I think about what it must be like to have achieved a long and productive life only for that life to end this way.
Join the “One Hour, One Visit, One Heart” Campaign
As we move into this season of giving, I ask you to help us reach more people like Clarence. Whether you can give an hour of your time, a donation, or simply share our mission with others, your support makes a real and lasting difference.
This December, I invite you to join our “One Hour, One Visit, One Heart” campaign. Because as Clarence so beautifully reminded me, love and connection are what make us human.
Closing with Gratitude
Thank you for standing with us in this work. Wishing you and your loved ones a season of joy, connection, and meaning.
With gratitude,
Dr. Paul Falkowski
Founder and President, NALTCV
PS Your contribution matters. Together, we can combat loneliness and isolation in nursing homes. Donate Here
